Obviously your parents have an incredible influence on your life, but how exactly does the challenge of parenting affect their lives?
It seems like everyone is getting married at such a young age nowadays, and good for them! Finding that special someone to spend the rest of your life with is nothing to scoff at, but it’s just not for me – Not yet, anyway. I can’t imagine being in a serious relationship right now, much less married. Moreover, the thought of adding kids to that mix is unfathomable to say the least! With that being said, I realize that tomorrow I could meet someone that knocks my socks off, so to say, and my mind might change, but I wouldn’t count on it.
Right now, I’m at a point in my life where I’m open to pretty much everything. Who I am this year, could be pretty different from who I am next year. My morals and values won’t change too much, but my interests, tastes, and goals in life are constantly evolving. All I care about right now is soaking up knowledge like a sponge – Exploring philosophy, health and fitness, various theories, cultures, travel, business, and aspiring to change the world, and myself, along the way. Fortunately for me and my future wife, there’s no time for a serious relationship. We have a lot of growing to do! In my opinion, our paths will cross based on a passion for discovery, and our defining experiences along the way. I want a supplement to my life, not a complement. To do that, I need to complete myself first.
It look’s like on average we’re beginning to get married later. Let’s be honest, though, is it because everyone now realizes the benefit of finding your spouse after you’ve grown as a confident, complete individual? Doubt it. The number of mothers giving birth without being married has increased. I’d say we’re just scared to fail at marriage. The duct tape approach is prevalent in our world – Marriage can’t fail if I’m not married. Genius.
Frankly, I was an accident. Not the kind of intoxicated accident that happens after a high school prom, but more the “we love each other and plan to get married, but we don’t want kids quite yet” kind of accident. It didn’t take too long for me to figure out that my mom was pregnant with me on their wedding day – 3 to 4 months apparently. It also didn’t take my grandparents long to be infuriated by this when they found out after the wedding. As for me, I don’t care. I’m here, I’m happy, and had a good childhood. What about my parents?
When I was born, my parents weren’t quite finished with college yet. Hell, I received over a year of college education for free, complements of my mother and a stroller. I’m sure this was difficult for them. My mom worked nights as an RN at the hospital, and my dad was a salesman by day. In the middle of it all, was me – Their little bundle of joy. Their time consuming, dream sapping bundle of joy. Obviously raising a child is a large and enjoyable task, but I can’t help but think about what their lives would be like without my untimely arrival. As much joy as a child can bring into your life, it also brings its fair share of hardships. Much of their time, money, and thoughts were directed at me, instead of within. What sort of personal growth might they have encountered without me? Just a thought, but dare I say would they be happier? *Gasp* Would they have traveled the world, followed their passions, and found a way to live life different from how they currently live it? Would they even still be together?
Obviously they wouldn’t trade myself or my brothers for the world. Well, maybe they would trade me, but that’s beside the point. In the grand scheme of things, it all worked out for my family, but did it work out for my parents?
In general, with the theme of global progression in mind, would it be wrong to say that my parents are living through me? Instead of bettering their own lives in order to greatly benefit the world, they chose to better the lives of their children. They sacrificed their well-being for ours. Not only did they put their dreams and aspirations on hold, but they poured every once of passion into raising their children. So what will I do? Will I aspire to change the world with my parents’ selfless endowment, or will I continue the stagnant legacy of hoping my offspring will? With that being said, there’s always a chance that in the next decade they’ll pick up where they left off 25+ years ago, but why does everyone seem OK with this? More and more people of all ages are going back to school after decades to pursue what they wish they had in the past. Why not take it easy, resist the societal pressure to “settle down” and get married, then have a family when you’re ready? The “best mistake of your life” may happen, but for the sake of world progress, let’s try not to rush into things.
Thanks Mom and Dad for putting your lives on hold for your children. We’ll make the most out of it!